Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge. - Charles Darwin
You never know what moments in life will matter. In love, family, work, art, ethics. What fantastic memories will be lost and what terrible memories will stick. Or vice versa. What behavior or comment will be used to judge you. And of course what you process to judge others. We have so little control over what people choose to cling to and discard. I’m just realizing this now. And it’s hard to accept. I’m a perfectionist. I despise mess and clutter and irrational behavior and rules that make no sense and I’m stubborn and I usually think that I’m right. I am loyal and dedicated and hold people up to a very high standard. I am confident. I am also afraid. Afraid of being undervalued, used, ignored. I trust people with too much and when they fail I lock them out and make it clear how they have failed. This is a pattern, I see it in myself and the years of disappointment are hard to look at with a clear eye. I’m not perfect after all.
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