The last few weeks have been more unusual than ever. Yeah, hard to believe, right? We decided to seriously investigate becoming home owners. This year we will get annihilated on taxes. Both Charis and I are working professionally and full-time. So we met with a recommended agent and looked at some property that matched our criteria. We definitely wanted an income property, preferably a duplex. In my casual research over the last few years, I believed a duplex to be the best bet for us economically and as a way to get into property management. So…. we’re soon going to be the proud owners of a duplex! We found something that truly matches our specs and that we can afford. There have been inspections and reports and revised offer letters and many many phone calls over the last 2 weeks. We literally made the offer the day that we were flying to LA for another hearing. We close on the property in about a week. The month of May will be full of moving and planning and renting out the vacant unit. In all respects, I have a very strong and positive gut feeling about this. It’s the right step for us and I'm very excited.
On the other end of the spectrum is a looming trial and numerous delays in the prosecution of my brother’s murderer. The judge finally lost patience with the public defender and is granting no further delays. The preliminary is set to start next Thursday. The prosecuting attorney has remained calm and always intelligent, explaining everything to us and making herself available when I catch her by phone at her desk. She works extremely hard and, in my eyes, will make a strong case for the maximum penalty. There is plenty of evidence, brutal and painful evidence. My heart is still broken and I still cry regularly. My family is still immersed in pain. The details surrounding the case have come slowly and when I see the murderer in court, I want to kill him. I can’t breath, my hands clench and I forget to blink as I stare at him with burning eyes. Lately, I’ve felt that Russell’s energy is with me less. It’s freaking me out, I want to feel him near me always. My grief is more unpredictable now. Suddenly, I feel sick to my stomach and have to lie down and then a numb depression sets over me. I toss on the couch and feel restless. It lasts for a day and then passes. It returns again just as suddenly. It’s not the bitter sharp agony of before, it’s a dull throbbing bruised feeling. Trying to pinpoint the thoughts that bring it on makes me feel sicker, my mind wants to understand so that it protects itself from those thoughts, but there’s no hiding.